1. THE AMAZEMENT STAGE: This is the “wow” stage. Lots of new things to discover with your spouse. The newness, the freshness is so amazing. Sleeping on the same bed, wearing the same attire, cooking for him, doing house chores with her, bathing together. Wearing your dazzling wedding ring everywhere, turning people’s head as the newest couple around. Loads and lots of fun. Sexual exploration and excitement. Being in control of your kitchen, feeding him and lots more. It’s the honeymoon stage and it’s so so beautiful.
2. THE IRRITATION STAGE: This is when you begin to notice weaknesses you have overlooked or blissfully wish they go away but didn’t. The repetition of such weaknesses begins to work on your nerves and you are getting irritated: he snores a lot, she is slow in the kitchen, she belches loudly, he screams unnecessarily, she won’t bathe before coming to bed or shave, he spends many hours watching football and ignores you when you talk. “What’s just wrong with this guy?” You think aloud, well it’s part of marriage.
3. THE ANGER STAGE: This is when the repetition of such weaknesses gets on your nerves and you display your anger. The introverted partners stuffs it in and either keep malice, avoid you or stubbornly continue with the irritating habit. It’s the stage you begin to wonder: “have I really married the wrong guy?” “Have I married the wrong woman?” No, you did not, you are simply going through a phase together.
4. THE RESOLUTION STAGE: When you both begin to face the reality of marriage and acknowledge your partner’s weaknesses. You eventually realize anger and malice does not solve any problem and begins to find ways to deal with your differences, both of you begin to compromise here and there and adjust to each other.
5. THE ACCEPTANCE STAGE: When it dawned on you that some things are just part of your partner and may never change till Jesus comes. You resigned from anger, abuse and quarrel and choose to accept them, lovingly adjust to them and enjoy them regardless of their weaknesses.
6. THE RESTFUL STAGE: This is the stage you permanently accept them with all their strengths, weaknesses, shortcomings and flaws and love them unconditionally regardless of what they do. This is real love -agape, divine and true. You reconnect emotionally, spiritually and physically at a deeper level and enjoy honeymoon again while building a lasting marriage regardless of the challenges you face.
There is no perfect marriage. Every marriage goes through these stages. How you handle it will determine if you will come out bitter or better.
You don’t have to abuse your spouse or keep malice if Christ is at the centre of your home and you obey the word of God daily.
Nevertheless, do not be disappointed if you go through the unpleasant stages of marriage. It is a phase and will surely end.
Handle your marriage with wisdom and keep loving regardless of the challenges you face. That is what will make your marriage a heaven on earth experience. Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!
By Seun Oladele