Your bff status comes with a lot of new duties now that you’ve said “I do” to being a ‘maid. Be the star of the bridal party by not making these common blunders. Getting asked to be a bridesmaid can often feel like you just scored the supporting actress role in an Oscar-worthy movie. It can feel somewhat like a rite of passage, even something you’re desperately looking forward to crossing off your bucket-list.
But after the excitement of having the bride pop the bridesmaid question to you wears off, you may find yourself flustered over where to start or even if it is your “job” to start anything. Sure, you can scour the internet, dial up experienced friends, or ask strangers for advice on what to do and more importantly what not to do.
But no matter how much you read up on how to be the most perfect bridesmaid ever, and no matter how many times you’ve been a bridesmaid before, whether that’s once, twice, or a handful of times, you will find yourself making the kind of mistakes that will leave you with one too many blisters, headaches, or just simply wishing that you would have negotiated the terms of your bridesmaid role ahead of time. You may even find yourself fidgeting around the idea of backing out of your bridesmaid duties or convincing yourself that being a bridesmaid once is more than enough.
Dodge the blisters, the crying bride, and the “I’ll never be a bridesmaid again” attitude by learning how to conquer your bridesmaid duties, and you eventually will, as long as you avoid making these rookie bridesmaid mistakes.
You prematurely accept to be a bridesmaid
Just because you’re asked to be a bridesmaid doesn’t mean you have to say yes. Do it only because that person truly means a lot to you, you have the time and extra cash to do it right, and because you want to.
You bring the wrong gift to the wrong place
When the wedding adventure first begins, map out each event that you plan on bringing a gift to — that way you won’t make the rookie mistake of bringing lingerie to the bridal shower.
You don’t listen to the bride
When the bride says she wants a quiet and simple bachelorette party, somewhere with bottles of wine and cucumbers over her eyes — don’t go off and plan a night out at the hottest club in town. Listen to her, even if it’s not what you want to do — or what you “think” she really wants.
You don’t save the drama for the maid of honor
Planning a wedding is stressful. So if you’re not happy with the dress she picked out or the time the bridal shower starts or how another one of the bridesmaids is treating you, chat about it with the maid of honor or another member of the bridal party. Don’t bother the bride with that nonsense.
You spend too much money right away
Yes, being a bridesmaid is expensive. Sometimes more money than you’d like to actually spend. Set budget expectations early on with the entire wedding party.
You talk behind the bride’s back
Even if you find yourself frustrated or overwhelmingly annoyed with the bride, avoid chatting about her behind her back or hosting a vent session with another bridesmaid..
You think your bridesmaid role ends when the wedding ends
Just because the couple said “I do” doesn’t mean your job as a bridesmaid has come to a complete stop and you can exit your role. The days after the wedding, the bride may turn to you for help with picking out photos for her album, helping her sort through gifts, and even just calling you to chat.
You can’t commit to pre-wedding events
Be sure to take note of the date of key wedding events, like the bachelorette party or the bridal shower, and jot them down on your calendar. If you don’t think you’ll be able to attend, tell the bride right away.
You put up a fuss about the dress
Even if yellow marigold is not your color or you don’t like the way the seven layers of chiffon fall on your body, just remember that you’re only going to be wearing this dress for one night. Complaining about the dress to the bride could jump start her stress levels?
You assume the other bridesmaids will Take Care of It All
Instead of thinking the maid of honor is taking care of all the details and the planning, reach out and ask if there’s something you can help with. If there’s nothing at the moment, you can offer to be “on-call” in case something comes up.
You make the wedding all about you
A huge part of being a bridesmaid is learning to be selfless during the wedding process. So even if you’re unhappy about something or not in the mood to do something, remember that ultimately you’re there to support your friend, the bride.
You don’t respect the bride’s wishes
It’s okay not to agree with the things the bride is asking of you after you have agreed to be a bridesmaid. Instead of rolling your eyes or putting up a strong defense, talk out any and all concerns you have with the bride or maid of honor.
You lie to the bride
Whether she asks you an opinion on flower arrangements or whether her fake eyelashes look too fake, you don’t have to spit out a lie to make sure she stays happy. Politely tell her the truth and even provide an alternate suggestion after doing so.
You turn it into a dating game
While it may be tempting to go over and fraternize with the groomsmen on the day of the wedding, make sure that you’re around for the bride, first, especially when she needs your help the most.
You force the bride to get too wild
It’s okay to help get the party started when you’re at the wedding or even the bachelorette party, but stray away from pushing the bride too far out of her comfort zone. Her wedding adventure should feel like a celebration, not an ongoing game of truth and dare.
You get upset at the bride for not taking your advice
Be supportive and give the bride as much advice as she’d like to hear, but if she decides to honeymoon in Kalangala or Murchison Falls over Zanzibar or she chooses gold chargers over the silver ones you recommend, don’t take it personally.
You put your wedding before hers
If you find yourself getting married around the same time as the bride, be sure to support her as much as you can. Share your wedding-planning tools and to-do list with her and try not to let your own wedding chaos get in the way of being there for the bride through hers.
You assume you’re a bridesmaid before you’ve been asked
Be careful not to assume you’ve been chosen as a bridesmaid before the bride has asked you. Even if you’re a close friend and you think it’s a shoe-in, the bride may just decide to go with family members only or no bridesmaids at all.
You decide to wear uncomfortable shoes
If you want to wear shoes that are cuter than they are comfortable, be sure to load up on the Band-Aids or pack a pair of flats so that when the blisters start to tag along or you want to break it down on the dance floor, you’re prepared.
You don’t use your strengths to help the bride out
Whether you’re good at doing DIY crafts, writing speeches, or using excel to manage budgets or organize a to-do list, the easiest and most supportive way to help out the bride, is to offer help in areas that you are awesome at.
You forget the #1 rule of being a good bridesmaid
The number one thing to remember when you’re a bridesmaid is that you simply just need to remember to be a good friend. Be there to listen, to support and to lift the bride back up to reality when she’s too overwhelmed.
You don’t get to know the other bridesmaids
Be sure to make an effort to be friendly to the other members of the bridal party, especially if not everyone knows each other. The more you get along, the bride will feel like she has a strong group of gals who have her back on her wedding day.
You don’t respond to the wedding message communications or email chains
Instead of ignoring those messages and Whatsapp texts or tossing these email chains in your spam folder, make time to read through them and respond when needed. That way, you’ll stay in the loop of any and all details and changes.
You leave the wedding early
Try to stick around the wedding until the very end. Even if you’re not a party animal, being there until it’s over will show the bride that you support her and that you’re around to help out if she needs it when the celebration comes to a close.
You don’t give her a wedding gift
Being a bridesmaid comes with a lot of expenses and you may find yourself shelling out more money than you can afford. It’s still appropriate to give the bride a gift — even if it’s something small or homemade
You think you’ve mastered bridesmaid 101
Just because you’ve been a bridesmaid more times than you can count on your hands, there’s always new things you can learn about your bridesmaid duties and repeat mistakes you can work on avoiding.
You make it Facebook official that you’re a bridesmaid too soon
The bride might need a few weeks to ask all of the different people she wants to be a bridesmaid. Make sure you have the okay before announcing it to the world that you’ve been picked as a member of her bridal party.
Content credit: Compiled from online sources