By Robert K James
Silence is the greatest weapon with which you can fight you enemies. Enemies that spread rumours about you or those that would want to lure you into a cold war (a war of words). Trust me on this; I have learnt the hard way.
However, the same silence could ruin your marriage if transferred to the bedroom. Silence is a good thing but can also be bad depending on how you apply it. I have learnt from some of my married peers that some women are as silent as a grave yard in bed.
The first time I heard of this, we were at a ‘kafunda’ having those evening drinks with colleagues after a tiring day. Instantly, I responded in defence of the ladies. I always want to be on the opposer’s side of most debates or accusations, just to try and defend the weak, accused or disadvantage.
With such a background, I quickly blamed some of my mates for being poor performers in bed. Jackson, the most superior of us in age consented with the rest saying; “hmmm, Robert you’re joking. You can work off your skinny ass and she doesn’t even whisper.”
A few weeks later at friend’s party, I heard of the same complaint from a couple of men, most of whom to my knowledge are married. While they sipped off their punched booze, with time they couldn’t help it discuss ladies as alcohol levels rose on their brains.
In fact one said and I quote, “for me she kept quiet the entire session and at the end of it all she asked omazze (which translates that have you finished)?”
Definitely all of them couldn’t have been wrong about such a revelation. So dear ladies, silence during love making is like playing a soccer game without fans in the stadium. Not only does it make the game so boring but also psychologically demoralises the players themselves.
You keep quiet the entire session as your bonk-mate works those walls of Jericho and then suddenly ask whether he has finished. Now that’s mind blowing and heart breaking for man who thought was busy twisting his waist properly, thrusting back and forth.
Why demoralise your hubby. It’s a huge sign of despise. It makes him question his manhood and yet you wouldn’t want him testing it elsewhere. The sound or small music you produce during that time is what cheers him up to invest in all his energetic capital into drill more oil from your Hoima District.
It’s the ‘nkwatako’ track that you sing, the way you breathe out and more importantly the way you twist your waist that instructs your partner on what to do, to either adjust the speed of drilling or keep it at that pace. Perhaps increase or decrease.
Silence in bed isn’t a sign of bravely but rather a weakness that could ruin your marital bedroom. First of all, it’s a sign that you could be naïve about what you’re doing. Perhaps you didn’t visit your auntie or didn’t have that premarital conversation about bedroom matters with your mother.
Maybe it’s the deejay that isn’t scratching the music timetables very well to produce the music out of you. We can’t be certain about you motives or cause of the dead silence but it isn’t good at all.
Nonetheless, please don’t fake it for the sake of pleasing or inspiring him. If he doesn’t cause the sounds out of you, tell him openly and discuss the matter. Try to work it out as a couple and if you have any suggestions, bring them onto the table for the sake of your marriage.