Cover Photo Credit: Vision Digital Images – Wilson & Rosette at their wedding in 2015
Now that your wedding day is coming up, there are some important people that you cannot afford to leave out of the planning process—your parents, who probably already have an idea of how they would like to be involved. The list below gives a hint of what to discuss with your parents.
In the past, parents of the bride and groom would contribute significantly towards wedding expenses. Presently, most couples prefer to pay for the wedding themselves. If your parents want to help financially, give them the freedom to decide how they want to do it.
Your parents may want to invite friends who are not already on the guest list. Find out who these people are, and figure out how to put them on the list so that your parents are happy.
The chosen wedding venue is another thing to discuss with your parents. They can advise on the suitability of the site for older members of the family, and those coming from far away.
What is your parents’ role in the wedding ceremony? Rather than assume that they know what is expected, sit down with both sets of parents and discuss the service. Iron out all the details so that everyone is prepared.
The parents of the bride and groom always handle the wedding speeches. Agree on how many speeches each side of the family will give, and who will give each speech and more important how long it should take. Most wedding guests hate very long speeches.
Why must you discuss this with your parents? Simple – they may decide to wear clothes that are not matching your wedding theme. As you choose your colour scheme, involve the bride’s mother so that she gets to know your theme and style. The bride’s mum, in turn, passes on the information to the groom’s mum and sisters or either way depending on how information flows within your family.
Your parents need to know how many people they will need to host before and after the wedding. Discuss with your parents where their guests will stay, and how much the accommodation and other associated details will cost, in case you need to chip in.
Marriage License and Officiant’s Fee
If the groom is not able to handle these costs, he can ask his parents to help. The groom’s parents may also offer to cater for the officiant’s accommodation.
Parents always have their expectations for their children’s wedding. To avoid conflicts that may arise from unmet expectations, have a chat with both sets of parents. They may require things from you that won’t cost you much to provide. You must also take into account your cultural background.
Parents always have requests that come up when weddings are looming. The bride’s mum may need a special diet. The bride’s father might want his best friend to sit next to him. Note down all the requests, and do your best to make most of them happen.
The ten pointers above with ideas on what to discuss with your parents will help them feel appreciated and honored for their role in bringing you up. All the best to you dear Grooms & Brides to be!