Cover Photo credit: Makula Pictures
The wedding planning process starts out as fun and exciting but weeks of deliberating over flower types, musing over colours, visiting venues and all the nitty-gritties of weddings can take a toll on even the most placid bride.
So what do you do when you feel overwhelmed by the wedding planning and that your sanity is at risk? Here are a few ideas to help you relieve the stress and avoid wedding overload:
Don’t be afraid to delegate:
The need for perfection and for all the details to fall into place can lead you to want to handle every single thing. That and the fear that if you leave a task to someone else who will not care as much as you do and will certainly drop the ball. But for the sake of your sanity it is important that you let others help you. Take for example the bridesmaids dress fitting; you could ask your maid of honor to organize and coordinate the fittings and jewelry shopping for the bridesmaids. Or if you have to create 200 DIY favours, you could ask your bridesmaids over for a fun session of bonding, movies, music, snacks and crafts.
Have wedding-free dates:
Wedding planning can very easily take over your life. If you find that whenever you talk to your fiancé your conversations are peppered with the wedding talk, then it is time for a wedding-free date. You could go out for dinner or have a movie date at home (we know that you are watching every dime). But the idea is during this date there should be no talk of centerpieces, rings, guests or any other wedding related topics. This will allow you and your fiancé to reconnect on the thing that matters most; your relationship. Just hang out and enjoy each other’s company. Make it a regular wedding free date or even wedding free weekend. Every once a week would be great!
The first step in establishing boundaries is accepting that you will not be able to please everyone at all times. That said, since this is your wedding your happiness and that of your fiancé should be top of your list. Determine what vision or plan you and your fiancé have for your wedding. Once that is clear, you can listen to input from friends and families but if they do not fit into your dream for your wedding, turn them down firmly but respectfully. Learn to say no with grace. If you try to please everyone at all times, you will get sucked into the vortex of wedding planning stress. It is a slippery slope.
After hours and hours of pouring through wedding dresses and discussing cake flavors with your supplier, there comes a time when you must simply stop and take a break. Shut down the computer, fold away the quotes, put down the phone and do whatever it that feels is relaxing you. For some, that is taking a walk, a drive, reading a book, going for a massage, watching a movie. Just unplug and unwind. And when you finally return to the world of wedding planning, things will be all the more clear. All the more enjoyable.
Embrace the imperfections:
As you plan your wedding, it is important to know what you want and to stick to your guns. However, you will soon realize that you have little control over a number of things especially in regard to the wedding day. “Will it rain?” “Will there be too many guests?’ Or too few?” You can agonize over these and other issues over and over to a point of exhaustion. While it is prudent to have contingency plans for such things as rain (especially for the rainy season) you cannot be in complete control of the outcome of your wedding. Make plans and arrangements and when all is said and done, let go and enjoy your day.
The power of two:
While your groom might not be as excited as you are about gerbera daisies and cake toppers, it is important to get him involved in the wedding. Is there any wedding-planning task you think he would enjoy? Shouldering all the planning yourself can lead to fatigue and feeling lonesome. Let him know the things you'd like him to help with, and keep him posted on vendor meetings and deadlines. The wedding is about the two of you as a couple not just you, the bride.
Keep your eyes on the prize:
You will hear it over and over again; the wedding is just a day and your marriage is for a lifetime. Whenever the wedding seems to take over your life remind yourself of what is really important. As long as you have the big things taken care of; marriage license… check, groom…check, then you will be wed at the end of the day. Whether or not your ribbons were the right shade of green or your cake had the right amount of flavor, if at the end of the day you and your fiancé are married then that is all that matters.