Should I Be Hurt That No One Threw Me a Bridal Shower?

We this afternoon received this question about bridal showers in our inbox nd though this may not be an isolated case. Many brides out there are having the same issues and we would like to respond to this on our blog.

Question:

Am I allowed to be upset that my wedding is two weeks away, and I haven’t had any type of shower or party thrown for me? My engagement was ten months long, I have wonderful bridesmaids, and I’m pretty confused that nothing has been organized. I thought that it was pretty standard to do at least a bridal shower or a bachelorette party.

But I don’t know if I should say anything. It seems so bratty to express that I’m upset that nobody threw me a party, especially when four of my bridesmaids are already traveling for the wedding and everything. But I just feel like in the course of ten months, somebody could have hosted a little something. I would be happy with just a bridal luncheon, no gifts, no crazy partying or expensive destinations, just a time to celebrate my wedding in an intimate setting with my female friends, and feel like a bride. My fiancé’s groomsmen threw him a whole bachelor weekend, but I never had so much as a congratulations brunch.

So I guess my question is, should I tell my bridesmaids that I am upset? Or just keep it to myself? At this point it’s too late to do anything about it, and I don’t want any hard feelings at my wedding.

Answer:

It depends on what you hope to accomplish by telling them. Like you pointed out, it’s too late for them to throw a shower now. There’s no real way to fix the problem. Would telling them do anything other than spread around some blame and guilt? Will your relationship be improved or harmed by having that convo?

And just so we’re clear, (though it seems you may know this) you’re not owed a shower. It’s not a requirement. We’re led to believe every wedding means a shower and an engagement party and a bachelorette and a congratulations brunch (is that a thing?), but meh. Not always. Lots of weddings happen without any of these extra little events.

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