4 Things No One Tells You About Wedding Planning

Cover Photo: Marvin & Racheal on their wedding day

At some point, you will become a bridezilla

Long before you had that engagement ring on your finger, you vowed that you would never be one of those ladies who make a huge fuss about their wedding. You would never lose your cool, or your sleep, over wedding details. You would never talk endlessly about your wedding. You vowed that you would eat your shoe first before becoming a bridezilla. And now that you’re planning the wedding you have been cool, calm and collected up until this point. But don’t pat yourself on the back yet.

Because before you know it, you might find yourself having a meltdown because a vendor is yet to respond to the email that you sent 10 minutes ago! Or you might catch your colleague rolling her eyes as you tell her, for the umpteenth time, why you prefer a mermaid wedding dress over a trumpet silhouette. And when you find yourself freaking out because a friend of yours has also chosen lemon yellow as her wedding colour, then let’s face it; you are having a bridezilla moment.

Those ‘zilla moments happen to even the most easy-going brides. So allow yourself to have a few of them. It is, after all, one of the most important events of your life. Whenever you have a ‘zilla moment, just take a short break from wedding planning to get a bit of perspective and relax a little. You will calm down, get some clarity on the way forward and realise that it’s not the end of the world.

Factor in the traditional ceremonies as you pick your wedding date

Ugandan weddings are not just about the wedding day. There are usually other traditional ceremonies involved; such as the introduction. It is increasingly becoming common that couples do plan their introduction/customary event and wedding within the same period of time for as long as the financial resources are available, all other factors kept constant.

This is the trickiest time to deal with your significant other if they are planning to come home officially and pay that bride price and the dowery, and yet at the same time, he is planning to walk you down the aisle. We all know that pulling off such a thing will cost one an arm and a leg.

In December 2009, Ronaldo Kikaawa and his wife Kyomuhangi Winne had their introduction on a Friday and their wedding on the following day, Saturday. In one of our discussions regarding marriage, Mrs. Kikaawa revealed that it wasn’t easy organising the two events given the circumstances at the time. “It wasn’t easy at all but the Lord was on our side.” Such events also depend on the availability of key family members, and there could be some back and forth, inform your families of your wedding date early.

The groom might have opinions on the most unexpected things

So you thought your groom will be nonchalant about the wedding plans and only want to weigh in concerning the honeymoon, the music and perhaps the evening party. But you might be surprised to find that he holds very strong opinions on the details you least expect. He might be insistent about the choice of flowers; he wants gerbera daisies, not roses! And just when you think he knows nothing about décor, he might send you photos of walkway stands he absolutely loves (he’s been doing a little research of his own). Allow the groom to get involved as much as he wants. Two heads are better than one and this is an opportunity to bond over wedding planning. And maybe even discover some cool things about each other in the process.

You should probably develop some tough skin

As you plan your wedding, everyone and their brother will suddenly become wedding planner extraordinaire. With ideas and suggestions about pretty much every detail of your wedding. Some of those ideas you can simply shrug off but when they come from family you might have to stand your ground and say no to ideas that do not reflect your style as a couple. If you have never had it, this is the time to develop rhino hide. If something does not fit your budget or it does not reflect your taste…just say no! The wedding is about you and your fiancé.

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Asaba James and Twinomujuni Deborah via mikolo