Reasons As To Why People Fear Commitment And How To Deal With It

Commitment is a word that scares most people be it in relationships or other life decisions. And due to such extreme fear to commit, people find themselves involved in unhealthy habits such as one night stands and friends with benefits or relationships with no strings attached.

In the long run such relationships or habits end up leaving the victims empty and less satisfied and you eventually realize how horrible it is to live life in that manner and you may find yourself feeling disassociated from humanity.

Just like all problems have solutions, fear for commitment has its own solutions that could be helpful in getting away from such a lifestyle.

1. The desire for something better.

Naturally as human beings, we always have the desire for better things in life, it could be a better job opportunity, better lifestyles and above all a better partner in life. And because of that spirit to want something better, we tend to see faults in everything and everyone around us, hence not committing.

Solution; Try to appreciate what you have in life at the moment without necessarily dropping it off, you can always work on what you have and make it better because there is nothing as a perfect out there, everyone has flaws, it’s better to appreciate what you have rather than dropping them thinking you can upgrade easily.

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2. Having unrealistic expectations.

This one is quite funny. As humans we have habits to crave for what we can’t have and decide to create a list of qualities we want in a partner such as a tall guy, with good teeth, muscles, fat bank balance, the list could go on and on in search for that perfect partner. In most cases these are dreams that come from watching too many scripted reality shows and soap operas where love is beautiful that it’s too good to be real, reality check, it’s just a TV show and chances are high that all those qualities you want in a partner may not actually exist in the real world.

Solution; That list of qualities in a partner does not exist, if you find a good person, work it out with him and improve your relationship because using examples from TV shows is not a very wise thing to do since such shows are only made for entertainment.

3. I still have time.

There is always this feeling of I will do it next time’ ‘I am not in a rush’ ‘I am still young’ ‘there is time for everything Gods time is the best’. This should apply to the single and searching category. Imagine you have something going on with someone you love a lot and the love is reciprocated but because you still have time, you fail to commit and before you know it, it could be too late.

Solution; you should never let yourself lose the good things in life or someone that you madly love simply because you feel too young or you are not ready or someone else is holding you back. Give it a shot and see what happens before it becomes a big regret in your life.

4. Feeling ‘trapped’.

People have a tendency of being trapped or stuck in situations that cannot even be explained. Most of the time people be dramatic and complain a lot even without serious convincing reasons as to why they feel trapped or suffocated.

Solution; Stop complaining and do something that excites you instead of being trapped in a situation that is actually nonexistent. Loosen up, live life and try to be happy.

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5. Letting your past predict your future.

We all have a past, this past could be good or bad but in most cases it’s the bad past that comes into question, if a past relationship ended badly, that is enough reason for someone to always think of the worst when it comes to future relationships, someone naturally believes it may never work out in the future as well thus the fear to commit with someone else.

Solution; Let your past help you be stronger instead of should be your foundation for a better future in your relationship or other aspects in life, if your ex was a tall hot tempered guy it doesn’t mean the next tall guy will be as such. Give yourself a chance to be happy and don’t let your past hold you back.

6. Being ’too busy’.

Every day we have heard people say, am too busy, I don’t have time for this and that, people end up being busy to the extent that the word loses meaning. You constantly tell yourself you will do it next time and when you have time yet deep down you know you will never have more time.

Solution; in this life there is nothing as too busy or I have no time, you can always create the time no matter how tight your schedule is, people should do away with blaming problems in your life on things that are not related. It’s all about managing your time and cutting out the negative things that don’t add value to your life, there is time for everything.    




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Asaba James and Twinomujuni Deborah via mikolo