Sometimes it seems like the universe just likes to laugh at your life. That’s certainly the case when you find yourself attracted to your ex’s friend! Depending on the situation, it might either be a funny coincidence or something that could tear apart a friend group. Here are a few rules to keep in mind when trying to figure out whether it makes sense to start something up with your ex boyfriend’s bro.
Think about your past relationship as objectively as possible. How serious were you guys? How long has it been since you broke up ? Was he always the jealous type? Is the guy you’re into your ex’s best friend, or are they just friendly acquaintances? Are you doing it for revenge? (Seriously, don’t do that.) All these factors will help you decide if you should act on your feelings. If you and your ex broke up two years ago and he’s pals with this guy but not super tight, you’re way more likely to have a green light than if you two broke up months ago and they’re roommates.
Crowd source advice. Ask your most honest friend who, in an ideal world, also knows your ex. How does he or she think your ex would react? Your friend might be able to offer some perspective that you’d miss, being too entrenched in the situation.
Wait a little bit. When it first dawns on you that you might like your ex’s friend, you’re probably going to feel the urge to act immediately. Give it a little bit. You might find it’s just a crush ! We’ve all heard stories where two people get together under touchy circumstances and a friend group is a little upset, or even falls apart. The only thing that could potentially be worth it is if the relationship worked out amazingly, so don’t take it too lightly. If you’re convinced you two could really have something, go forth and flirt.
Consider telling your ex before anything big happens. If you decide to pursue your feelings, it might be wise to let your ex know. You’re not asking him for approval, but giving him a heads-up is a nice courtesy. Of course, this depends on the aforementioned variables. Basically, if you have an inkling he would care, you may want to make sure he hears from you or his friend instead of through the grapevine.
If you have real feelings for the guy, do what’s right for you. As Selena Gomez sings in her irresistibly catchy song, “the heart wants what it wants.” Even if your ex throws a fit, if you think his friend could really make you happy, you’ve got to do what
